Thursday, October 11, 2007

Hazy

One of the strangest things about living in this new place is the effect it has had on my dreams. I still dream nearly everytime I fall asleep, but here it seems like my dreams are whisked away much quicker when I wake up, usually in those first hazy moments of consciousness. All the same, here is what I recall from my nap dream today (naps are wonderful!)

In part of the dream I was very sick, though I didn't feel ill or in pain, I just saw myself walking around wrapped in blankets with disgustingly pale, jaundiced skin. Every one else was treating me very carefully. I ended up accidentally spilling a bunch of brightly colored pills all over a friend's bunk bed and I spent a great deal of time trying to collect them while reassuring the friend that there were still plenty left by counting outloud as I picked each one up. The pills turned to small green beads between my fingers.
The next part of the dream involved me starting a job as a waitress in a restaurant with many stairs connecting dark wooden booths. I dropped some silverware and it clattered down towards a booth at the bottom of some steps. A veteran waitress who was just a few years older than me said that she was going to get some "tails" for us, then proceeded to explain that tails were the napkins that we used to pick up hot plates. I knew this already and told her so, in a tone that ended up being a lot harsher and stuck up than I intended. I apologized and the dream carried me to a throbbing blue room in which several of my college friends were gazing at the walls and waiting for me. I felt happy there.
Something I noticed about the feelings I experienced during my dreams had to do with how opposite the emotions of the two main chunks were. When I was ill, I felt very dependent on others, where as when I was starting my job, I felt a warm hope that I was working to take care of myself. The parts were different but almost responding to one another.
I wish I could remember more. My fleeting dreams are distressing me.

No comments: